You are currently browsing the monthly archive for February 2006.
Storyline: "It is 2006 A.D. Leaders and thinkers alike prophesy that a great nation is going to rise in the East."
Over a hundred years ago, a restless young man in his quest for the core of all spirituality admonished his fellow men in the following words: "We reap what we sow. We are the makers of our own fate. The wind is blowing; those vessels whose sails are unfurled catch it, and go forward on their way, but those which have their sails furled do not catch the wind. Is that the fault of the wind?……. We make our own destiny." Those are the immortal words of Swami Vivekananda. Let us believe in our destiny, let us make our future.
Sir, with these words, I commend the Budget to the House.
So what's going to happen to George W Bush? Will the gorillas cheer him on? Will the gibbons curl their lips? Will the brow-antlered deer sneer? Will the chimps make rude noises? Will the owls hoot? Will the lions yawn and the giraffes bat their beautiful eyelashes? Will the crocs recognise a kindred soul? Will the quails give thanks that Bush isn't travelling with Dick Cheney, his hunting partner with the notoriously bad aim? Will the CEOs agree?
When she writes, she also rips and tears! I dont agree entirely with the terminology used though. Well you'd expect that kind of stuff from Arundhati Roy anyway.
George W. Bush, incumbent President of the United States of America, world nightmare incarnate, is just not welcome.
Uh… this is just in… mm well, this looks like a distressing piece of news… mission operators at the Rajinder Nagar Sleepodrome have just reported that Atlantean's sleep mission, 8X Sleep Capsule, has disintegrated and exploded in midair! Scientists speculate that the explosion might have been caused by a malfunctioning Dreamotron. In fact, Atlantean's previous missions have failed because of a similar problem. They think that activity in the Dreamotron might have crossed the upper threshold, thereby, heating the circuits and causing the melatonin levels, serotonin levels to fluctuate wildly and the brainwave patterns to go haywire. Back to consciousness after his failed dumbass project, here's what the Atlantean has to say:
AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHH! SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEEE! III WAAAANT TOOOO SLEEEEEEEEEP!! SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!
Melatonin levels?
Hmm, good. Check.
Serotonin levels?
Very good. Check.
Water levels?
Wait… (gulp gulp) Haa. Check.
Urine?
Yuck! Wait… (flush.. haaaa). Check.
Dreamotron?
System ready. Check.
Brainwave patterns?
Conducive. Check.
Ok. Initiate sleep sequence… 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… zzz zzz…
Ladies and gentlemen! We see the rocket is flying straight indeed. Atlantean 8X Sleep Capsule is on its way to sleep orbit! Good night from us at the Rajinder Nagar Sleepodrome.
Sometimes, the whole issue of copyrights seems stupid. Copyrights are copyrights anyway. No problem. After all, an artist should get credit for his/her work. But how much more ridiculous can it get when some authors think even ideas can be copyrighted!
Let us wish good luck to Mr. Dan Brown.
Yes!
Calculations:
x – y = n !!
Hence, proved!
Aim: In the backdrop of the bird flu outbreak, I aim to prove that eating chicken is perfectly fine. There are two things to prove:
1. Eating chicken cooked at above 70 deg. C should be fine.
2. Bird flu hasnt reached Delhi yet!
Equipment:
1. Tandoori Chicken (TC) – 1 No.
2. Mirchi Special Mixed Fried Rice (MFC)(containing chicken, egg, lamb, fish, prawn, mushroom) – 1 No.
Procedure:
1. Go to Mirchi Express, pick up TC and MFC.
2. Come home.
3, Say a prayer.
4. Eat.
5. No. Dont eat.
6. Pick up a leg piece. Smile devilishly and then… Kheench Khaat!!
7. Drink water.
8. Burp!
9. Sleep.
10. Wake up the next morning, check for flu symptoms and perform the following calculations:
Let "ideal" symptoms be x.
Let actual symptoms be y.
Now, compare x and y.
If x – y = 0, YOU HAVE BIRD FLU! Run and take Tamiflu! If you cant, better commit suicide than die in the hands of a bloody virus!
If x – y = k, where k is a small natural number, then wait for some more time. Better stock up on Tamiflu, just in case.
If x – y = n, where n is a big natural number, then roll your ass on the floor! You dont have bird flu!
Current stage of experiment: Stage 8.
Conclusion coming up later.
Note: In case the conclusion doesnt appear soon, you may presume that I have fallen victim to the virus. If you care to call the police up to file an FIR, please warn them to come fully equipped and geared. Who knows? The virus might mutate in my body and become a human strain by the time they come! And well, I might go down in history as the person… ahem, the host which allowed the H5N1 strain to mutate into a human strain! Who cares? I'll be in the history books! Woohoo!
Time: 2.50 PM.
Current Activity: Brushing teeth.
Motivation for this post: the rich arthropod community that thrives in the diverse ecosystem that my room supports.
Calvin The Great:
Like delicate lace,
So the threads intertwine,
Oh, Gossamer web
Of Wond'rous design!
Such beauty and grace
Wild nature produces…
Ughh, look at the spider
Suck out that bug's juices!
Wah wah! Wah wah!
I will kill the guy who designed Bisleri's bottle caps. All sizes. I will kill him!
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